You kind of have expectations for how life will go. If someone in your life is struggling, you just expect them to get better eventually. The worst isn’t what happens. It’s not what is supposed to happen. Well, the worst happened.

My sister struggled with addictions. These addictions eventually caused her to change into a completely different person, and eventually pass away. However, along the path, there is one thing that was always the same about my sister, even when she was prisoner to these addictions–Her insane ability to love.

My sister didn’t really see any characteristic in humans that would deserve this type of kindness other than the simple fact they were just that, HUMAN. You could be a billionaire or the homeless person in the street and she would have treated you the same. She didn’t have much, but what she did have, she gave.  It would never matter to her if your opinions were completely different than hers…. Nothing else mattered. She would take care of you.

My sister was the type of person that would invite a homeless person to stay at her house on a cold night. You may think I am kidding, but I am actually being serious. Like, that happened.  Now, I am not saying to go and do the same, I am just saying that she had so much trust and love for people that she literally would do anything in her ability to help.

I didn’t come from a family of many means. My sister knew this, and although she didn’t have barely anything herself, she still found ways to help. One year when she got her tax return and she spent almost the whole thing on my family. She took me shopping so I could wear “cool kid” clothes and feel a little more normal at school. My sister loved us so much, and one day she knew it would all be better for us.

After she passed, I was shocked. I guess anyone would be. But.. I thought she was supposed to get better. After my intense grieving period ended, I learned just how important it is to love people better. I experienced so much pain.. My family did. It was the kindness and sensitivity of others that helped the most. People tend to get scared of people who are in pain like they are some kind of alien, to no fault of their own. This is just the human condition. This kind of perceived rejection from society is difficult to deal with when you are already in so much pain. This just kicks you while you’re down.

I learned a lot from my sister’s life, and her death. I learned how hard it was when she passed and how it made me feel. I learned that everyone’s problems are important and that everyone deserves love and kindness like my sister would have shown. I am still not very good at it. I do my best to include people like she did. I do my best to treat everyone equally like she did. I try my best to love the homeless person smelling like alcohol, and the business acquaintance I meet in the same way. To not look at their current circumstance, but the light inside.. The fact they are human is reason enough to love them. The fact they both have their own struggles should mean they deserve love all the same.

It’s funny, the one person I wish was with me after she passed… was her. I hope to one day love like she did. Even when she had nothing and was a prisoner to addiction she still managed to give what she had to help others who had their own problems no matter how big or small they seemed.

Tomorrow is Christmas, and 2016 is ending. This year, let’s all try to love like Aprildawn. We deserve it.

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  1. It is ironic in the best possible way that your sister, who was probably judged by many because of her addictions, was more Christlike than any detractors. In that way, I want to be just like her, too. God bless you, and may the spirit of Christmas fill and heal your heartl


  2. Your sister was Christ like, something most of us have to work at. Seeing people as they can become not as they are. All are sons and daughters of God. All are loved the same by Him.


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